Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Monday, March 12, 2012
Tell Mama In Sign Language
Monday, February 14, 2011
Tell Mama Session With Author Naomi Aldort
On December 7th we hosted a SKYPE visit with Naomi Aldort author of "Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves". Visit Naomi's Web site for recordings of her sessions Raising Our Children
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Stranger Danger
During the last tell mama our guest Kristen Redd talked about stranger danger. We brainstormed several ways to help your child stay safe. Here is what was discussed:
“The world is a safe and wonderful place and the majority of adults will not hurt them.” We don’t want to create fear in our children making them afraid of everyone they meet, rather we want to educate and empower them to trust their own instincts and differentiate between dangerous and safe situations.
1) Foster intuition: Help children become aware of the link between emotion and body cues.
2) Encourage personal power: Help children be aware that they have responsibility for their own safety and will need to make good decisions for themselves in the moment.
• Foster courage to stand up for themselves and others.
• Encourage self control of emotions and thoughts in difficult situations
• Help them to understand stress responses (heart pounds, throat constricts, fingers numb, etc). Teach them to take deep breaths.
• Empower them to save themselves not just rely on mom and dad.
• Demonstrate positive self talk “I can do it, I am ok.”
• Teach them to walk away from danger (don’t worry about being polite)
• Show how to draw attention (kick, hit, bite, scream, yell for help)
3) Educate: An informed child is a safe child.
• What are the real things children need to be aware of in our community, when traveling, ect.
• Teach appropriate touch as early as possible so they have the tools to understand and communicate any problems.
• Know personal information (name, phone, address, safe person to contact)
• Never go near a stranger’s car
• Use buddy system
• If lost seek a mother (Usually another mother has the instincts to help a lost child)
• Encourage them to tell about uncomfortable/unusual situations (Reassure that the child will be believed)
Bibliography:
www.mychildsafe.net
Raising Kids Who Can Protect Themselves. Debbie and Mike Gardner
What every 21st –Century Parent Needs to know, Debra W Haffner
www.myinnerguide.com
Genevieve’s Gift: A child’s Joyful Tale of Connecting with her Intuitive Heart, By Rosemary Serluca-Foster
“The world is a safe and wonderful place and the majority of adults will not hurt them.” We don’t want to create fear in our children making them afraid of everyone they meet, rather we want to educate and empower them to trust their own instincts and differentiate between dangerous and safe situations.
1) Foster intuition: Help children become aware of the link between emotion and body cues.
2) Encourage personal power: Help children be aware that they have responsibility for their own safety and will need to make good decisions for themselves in the moment.
• Foster courage to stand up for themselves and others.
• Encourage self control of emotions and thoughts in difficult situations
• Help them to understand stress responses (heart pounds, throat constricts, fingers numb, etc). Teach them to take deep breaths.
• Empower them to save themselves not just rely on mom and dad.
• Demonstrate positive self talk “I can do it, I am ok.”
• Teach them to walk away from danger (don’t worry about being polite)
• Show how to draw attention (kick, hit, bite, scream, yell for help)
3) Educate: An informed child is a safe child.
• What are the real things children need to be aware of in our community, when traveling, ect.
• Teach appropriate touch as early as possible so they have the tools to understand and communicate any problems.
• Know personal information (name, phone, address, safe person to contact)
• Never go near a stranger’s car
• Use buddy system
• If lost seek a mother (Usually another mother has the instincts to help a lost child)
• Encourage them to tell about uncomfortable/unusual situations (Reassure that the child will be believed)
Bibliography:
www.mychildsafe.net
Raising Kids Who Can Protect Themselves. Debbie and Mike Gardner
What every 21st –Century Parent Needs to know, Debra W Haffner
www.myinnerguide.com
Genevieve’s Gift: A child’s Joyful Tale of Connecting with her Intuitive Heart, By Rosemary Serluca-Foster
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Food Allergies
Lynn Mayer, MA, CNC
Nutrition Consultant
222 W. Colorado, Suite 9 ~ PO Box 3648 ~ Telluride, CO ~ 970.708.3978
Email: lynnmayer@sbcglobal.net ~ Web: thejoyofhealth.com
Food Allergies and Kids
Notes from a Bright Futures round table discussion with parents – 5/7/10
There is difference between food allergies (which are foods molecules that are too big that have escaped across a deficient mucosal barrier) and food intolerances (which are foods that when eaten aggravate and compromise the mucosal lining, creating a ‘leaky gut’ which then sets the stage for allergies by allowing the inappropriately sized molecules to cross the gut lining). I find my work most often to be that with food intolerances. In removing these aggravating foods from the diet, I find the natural healing and rebuilding of the mucosal barrier can take place, allowing a reduction and/or elimination of allergies altogether.
One of our cultural practices that can set the stage for a compromised mucosal lining and allergies down the road is that we feed cereal grains to our infants before their digestive tracts are prepared to digest them. From Nourishing Traditions by Sally Fallon “Babies produce only a small amount of amylase, an enzyme needed for the digestion of grains, and are not fully equipped to handle cereals, especially wheat, before the age of one year. Some experts prohibit all grains before the age of two. A baby’s small intestine mostly produces one enzyme for carbohydrates – lactase, for the digestion of lactose. (Raw milk does contain lactase).” Breast feeding is the best insurance for robust health and proper intestinal development of babies.
Food intolerances can cause a myriad of health issues: diarrhea, constipation, abdominal discomfort, gas, bloating, vomiting, bed wetting, nightmares and restless sleep, skin rashes, eczema, dark circles or bags under the eyes, mood swings, ADD, ADHD, congestion, irritability, drowsiness, fatigue, mental confusion, weight loss, weight gain, anemia, an inability to recover easily from colds and the flu and/ or a heightened propensity to getting every cold or flu that makes the rounds.
The symptoms of food intolerance can show up immediately or can often carry out to 48 - 72 hours after consumption as it takes 3 days to eliminate the antigens from an offending food from the body. As a quick study, it is recommended to have your child stay clear of all of these foods for 2 weeks and then add them back in one a time and watch their body’s response over the following 2-3 days. A food journal can help clarify the journey.
For kids, the minimum time of elimination to allow the gut to heal is usually 6 weeks (adults can take 90 days to 1 ½ years or more). Some people find that after having their children stay away from these foods for enough time to allow the gut lining to heal (6 weeks minimum to 3 months) that their children can go back and eat these foods again…in moderation and often only eating them every 3rd day. Others find that when their children go back their symptoms reappear. They then choose to just stay away from these foods as best as they can as they like the feeling of well-being without these foods in their diet.
Although some children are found to have intolerances to nuts, shellfish, certain fruits or vegetables - the majority of food allergies are the results of these top four offenders:
Wheat: is offending due to our hybriding the grain to increase its gluten/gliaden protein content and the fact that we eat it meal after meal after meal and day after day. It most often aggravates the gut lining in those of Northern European descent (especially those of Irish, Scottish, Welsh, English and Jewish Russian ancestry). Some people are sensitive enough to the gliaden molecule that they must not only eliminate wheat from their diet, but all of the gliaden containing grains of oats, barley, spelt, couscous and rye.
Pasteurized Cow Dairy: milk as it comes directly from the cow is alive with the very enzymes and probiotics that we need to digest it properly and to nourish the flora of our intestines. When we pasteurize milk we kill off all of this aliveness. Our bodies then do not have what it takes to digest it properly and it becomes a congesting. Pasteurized milk is essentially a dead food, unless cultured with added probiotics such as in yogurt, kefir, sour cream and cottage cheese.
Soy: long professed to be a health food, soy can be very aggravating to the intestinal tract, especially again to those of Northern European ancestry. Soy also depletes the body (suppressing the thyroid gland in particular) of needed minerals as well as aggravating hormonal issues. There is a great deal of scientific evidence that soy formula can be damaging to newborns. (see the www.westonaprice.org article Soy: the Dark Side of America’s Favorite “Health” Food)
Corn: usually thought of a vegetable, corn is actually a grain. That it is a grain alone can aggravate the intestinal lining for many. That it is often a hybrid as well as Genetically Modified (GMO) only aggravates the situation. If sensitive to corn, children must also stay away from corn starch, corn syrup and high fructose corn syrup.
Your better choices to replace these foods are:
In place of wheat – use rice, millet, buckwheat (buckwheat is a grass – not a grain) and root vegetables such as potatoes, yams, butternut and acorn squash for heavier, complex carbohydrates. Here also are some wheat-free products:
• Pamela’s Gourmet Wheat-Free Pancake Mix – (even kids and husbands go for this one!)
• Rice Noodles – best is organic, brown rice as it is higher in nutrition, being careful to not overcook as it will be mushy. Tinkyada is an excellent brand.
• Rice Flours
• Rice Almond Bread, Rice Pecan Bread, Bean Bead, Millet & Rice bread (read labels carefully)
• Rice Crackers
• Flax, Sesame Seed and Sunflower Seed Crackers
• Gluten-free crackers such as Mary’s Gone Crackers
• Pure Lentil Bean Pastas - (4 different shapes) “Panadini” is an available brand
• 100% Buckwheat Soba Noodles (read the labels carefully)
• Arrowhead Mills – Wheat-free All Purpose Baking Mix
• Corn Polentas, Corn Pastas – use only if you are not sensitive to corn
• Udi’s gluten-free bread
• Sawpit Mercantile in Placerville - has an array of wheat free products and co-op purchasing
• Websites such as www.knick-knick.com and www.glutensolutions.com
In place of pasteurized Cow Dairy – use raw milk (i.e. Kinikin Farms in Montrose (www.freshrawmilk.com) and raw milk cheeses (i.e. Organic Valley), goat and sheep milk products (which are less adulterated and more easily digested), almond milk and rice milk. (My first choice is almond milk as it has more protein and fat content; rice milk is primarily a carbohydrate). With both, read your labels carefully in that these alternative milks are often hyped with sugar, flavorings and artificial ingredients. You can easily make your own almond milk as well. (see recipe below)
Best soy choices (if you are going to use them): are those that are fermented such as soy sauce, miso and tempeh.
Best corn choices (if the body can tolerate corn): organic and non-GMO if possible, certainly stay away from corn syrup and high fructose corn syrup (which are leading contributors to diabetes)
Carbohydrate in the form of fresh, mashed banana can be added after the age of six months as bananas are rich in amylase. Soaking grains in an acidic medium (recipe below) for 24 hours neutralizes the phytates and begins the breakdown of carbohydrates, allowing children to obtain optimum nourishment from grains. It also provides lactic acid to the intestinal tract to facilitate mineral uptake. The safer grains to be first introduced to infants are millet and brown rice.
It is unwise to give your babies fruit juices, especially apple juice, which provides only simple carbohydrates and will often spoil an infant’s appetite for more nutritious foods. Sorbitol, a sugar-laden alcohol in apple juice, is difficult to digest. Studies have linked failure to thrive in children with diets high in apple juice.
Resources for your greater understanding of the role of offending foods:
• www.westonaprice.org
• www.mercola.com
Cookbook recommendation:
Nourishing Traditions: the Cookbook that Challenges Politically Correct Nutrition and the Diet Dictocrats by Sally Fallon. Nutrition researcher Sally Fallon unites the wisdom of the ancients with the latest independent and accurate scientific research. Nourishing traditions, “more than a cookbook-it is an education”, contains over 700 recipes that will please both exacting gourmets and busy parents.
It can even be used as a reference book for vegetarians and or families wishing to take a more vegetarian approach in their meals. “I was surprised at the wealth of information to help me (even as a vegetarian) make better food choices and prepare the one I have chose to get the most nourishment from them” – P. Hinderberger, M.D.
Recipes:
Almond Milk
• Soak almonds in filtered cold water overnight. (Organic, raw and with skins is ok)
• In a.m., drain the water.
• In proportion of 1 c. almonds to 3 c. filtered water, place combo into blender and blend 30sec to 1 minute.
• Pour through strainer.
• Only lasts 1-2 days in the refrigerator, so make smaller portions more often rather than having it sit too long.
• You may add vanilla if you like.
Soaking grains
From Nourishing Traditions by Sally Fallon
• 2 cups grain (such as brown rice)
• 4 cups warm filtered water plus 4 T yogurt, kefir or buttermilk
• 1 tsp sea salt
• 2-4 T real butter
Place grain and warm water mixture in a flameproof casserole and leave in a warm place for at least 7 hours. (Note: those with severe milk allergies can use lemon juice or raw apple cider vinegar in place of the yogurt, kefir or buttermilk). Bring to a boil, skim, reduce heat, stir in sea salt and butter and cover tightly. Without removing lid, cook over lowest heat possible for about 45 minutes.
Congee
from Healing with Whole Foods by Paul Pitchford
Traditionally known as his-fan or “rice water”, congee is eaten throughout China as a breakfast food. It is a thin porridge or gruel consisting of a handful of rice simmered in five to six times the amount of water. Although rice is the most common grain for congees, millet, spelt, or other grains are sometimes used. Cook the rice and water in a covered pot four to six hours on warm, or use the lowest flame possible; a crockpot works very well for congee. It is better to use too much water than too little, and it is said that the longer the congee cooks, the more “powerful” it becomes.
Healing Properties:
This simple rice soup is easily digested an assimilated, tonifies the blood and the qi energy, harmonizes the digestion, is demulcent, cooling and nourishing. It is useful for increasing a nursing mother’s supply of milk. Where as toddlers can partake of the whole porridge, for infants the liquid can be strained from the porridge to drink as a supplement.
Nutrition Consultant
222 W. Colorado, Suite 9 ~ PO Box 3648 ~ Telluride, CO ~ 970.708.3978
Email: lynnmayer@sbcglobal.net ~ Web: thejoyofhealth.com
Food Allergies and Kids
Notes from a Bright Futures round table discussion with parents – 5/7/10
There is difference between food allergies (which are foods molecules that are too big that have escaped across a deficient mucosal barrier) and food intolerances (which are foods that when eaten aggravate and compromise the mucosal lining, creating a ‘leaky gut’ which then sets the stage for allergies by allowing the inappropriately sized molecules to cross the gut lining). I find my work most often to be that with food intolerances. In removing these aggravating foods from the diet, I find the natural healing and rebuilding of the mucosal barrier can take place, allowing a reduction and/or elimination of allergies altogether.
One of our cultural practices that can set the stage for a compromised mucosal lining and allergies down the road is that we feed cereal grains to our infants before their digestive tracts are prepared to digest them. From Nourishing Traditions by Sally Fallon “Babies produce only a small amount of amylase, an enzyme needed for the digestion of grains, and are not fully equipped to handle cereals, especially wheat, before the age of one year. Some experts prohibit all grains before the age of two. A baby’s small intestine mostly produces one enzyme for carbohydrates – lactase, for the digestion of lactose. (Raw milk does contain lactase).” Breast feeding is the best insurance for robust health and proper intestinal development of babies.
Food intolerances can cause a myriad of health issues: diarrhea, constipation, abdominal discomfort, gas, bloating, vomiting, bed wetting, nightmares and restless sleep, skin rashes, eczema, dark circles or bags under the eyes, mood swings, ADD, ADHD, congestion, irritability, drowsiness, fatigue, mental confusion, weight loss, weight gain, anemia, an inability to recover easily from colds and the flu and/ or a heightened propensity to getting every cold or flu that makes the rounds.
The symptoms of food intolerance can show up immediately or can often carry out to 48 - 72 hours after consumption as it takes 3 days to eliminate the antigens from an offending food from the body. As a quick study, it is recommended to have your child stay clear of all of these foods for 2 weeks and then add them back in one a time and watch their body’s response over the following 2-3 days. A food journal can help clarify the journey.
For kids, the minimum time of elimination to allow the gut to heal is usually 6 weeks (adults can take 90 days to 1 ½ years or more). Some people find that after having their children stay away from these foods for enough time to allow the gut lining to heal (6 weeks minimum to 3 months) that their children can go back and eat these foods again…in moderation and often only eating them every 3rd day. Others find that when their children go back their symptoms reappear. They then choose to just stay away from these foods as best as they can as they like the feeling of well-being without these foods in their diet.
Although some children are found to have intolerances to nuts, shellfish, certain fruits or vegetables - the majority of food allergies are the results of these top four offenders:
Wheat: is offending due to our hybriding the grain to increase its gluten/gliaden protein content and the fact that we eat it meal after meal after meal and day after day. It most often aggravates the gut lining in those of Northern European descent (especially those of Irish, Scottish, Welsh, English and Jewish Russian ancestry). Some people are sensitive enough to the gliaden molecule that they must not only eliminate wheat from their diet, but all of the gliaden containing grains of oats, barley, spelt, couscous and rye.
Pasteurized Cow Dairy: milk as it comes directly from the cow is alive with the very enzymes and probiotics that we need to digest it properly and to nourish the flora of our intestines. When we pasteurize milk we kill off all of this aliveness. Our bodies then do not have what it takes to digest it properly and it becomes a congesting. Pasteurized milk is essentially a dead food, unless cultured with added probiotics such as in yogurt, kefir, sour cream and cottage cheese.
Soy: long professed to be a health food, soy can be very aggravating to the intestinal tract, especially again to those of Northern European ancestry. Soy also depletes the body (suppressing the thyroid gland in particular) of needed minerals as well as aggravating hormonal issues. There is a great deal of scientific evidence that soy formula can be damaging to newborns. (see the www.westonaprice.org article Soy: the Dark Side of America’s Favorite “Health” Food)
Corn: usually thought of a vegetable, corn is actually a grain. That it is a grain alone can aggravate the intestinal lining for many. That it is often a hybrid as well as Genetically Modified (GMO) only aggravates the situation. If sensitive to corn, children must also stay away from corn starch, corn syrup and high fructose corn syrup.
Your better choices to replace these foods are:
In place of wheat – use rice, millet, buckwheat (buckwheat is a grass – not a grain) and root vegetables such as potatoes, yams, butternut and acorn squash for heavier, complex carbohydrates. Here also are some wheat-free products:
• Pamela’s Gourmet Wheat-Free Pancake Mix – (even kids and husbands go for this one!)
• Rice Noodles – best is organic, brown rice as it is higher in nutrition, being careful to not overcook as it will be mushy. Tinkyada is an excellent brand.
• Rice Flours
• Rice Almond Bread, Rice Pecan Bread, Bean Bead, Millet & Rice bread (read labels carefully)
• Rice Crackers
• Flax, Sesame Seed and Sunflower Seed Crackers
• Gluten-free crackers such as Mary’s Gone Crackers
• Pure Lentil Bean Pastas - (4 different shapes) “Panadini” is an available brand
• 100% Buckwheat Soba Noodles (read the labels carefully)
• Arrowhead Mills – Wheat-free All Purpose Baking Mix
• Corn Polentas, Corn Pastas – use only if you are not sensitive to corn
• Udi’s gluten-free bread
• Sawpit Mercantile in Placerville - has an array of wheat free products and co-op purchasing
• Websites such as www.knick-knick.com and www.glutensolutions.com
In place of pasteurized Cow Dairy – use raw milk (i.e. Kinikin Farms in Montrose (www.freshrawmilk.com) and raw milk cheeses (i.e. Organic Valley), goat and sheep milk products (which are less adulterated and more easily digested), almond milk and rice milk. (My first choice is almond milk as it has more protein and fat content; rice milk is primarily a carbohydrate). With both, read your labels carefully in that these alternative milks are often hyped with sugar, flavorings and artificial ingredients. You can easily make your own almond milk as well. (see recipe below)
Best soy choices (if you are going to use them): are those that are fermented such as soy sauce, miso and tempeh.
Best corn choices (if the body can tolerate corn): organic and non-GMO if possible, certainly stay away from corn syrup and high fructose corn syrup (which are leading contributors to diabetes)
Carbohydrate in the form of fresh, mashed banana can be added after the age of six months as bananas are rich in amylase. Soaking grains in an acidic medium (recipe below) for 24 hours neutralizes the phytates and begins the breakdown of carbohydrates, allowing children to obtain optimum nourishment from grains. It also provides lactic acid to the intestinal tract to facilitate mineral uptake. The safer grains to be first introduced to infants are millet and brown rice.
It is unwise to give your babies fruit juices, especially apple juice, which provides only simple carbohydrates and will often spoil an infant’s appetite for more nutritious foods. Sorbitol, a sugar-laden alcohol in apple juice, is difficult to digest. Studies have linked failure to thrive in children with diets high in apple juice.
Resources for your greater understanding of the role of offending foods:
• www.westonaprice.org
• www.mercola.com
Cookbook recommendation:
Nourishing Traditions: the Cookbook that Challenges Politically Correct Nutrition and the Diet Dictocrats by Sally Fallon. Nutrition researcher Sally Fallon unites the wisdom of the ancients with the latest independent and accurate scientific research. Nourishing traditions, “more than a cookbook-it is an education”, contains over 700 recipes that will please both exacting gourmets and busy parents.
It can even be used as a reference book for vegetarians and or families wishing to take a more vegetarian approach in their meals. “I was surprised at the wealth of information to help me (even as a vegetarian) make better food choices and prepare the one I have chose to get the most nourishment from them” – P. Hinderberger, M.D.
Recipes:
Almond Milk
• Soak almonds in filtered cold water overnight. (Organic, raw and with skins is ok)
• In a.m., drain the water.
• In proportion of 1 c. almonds to 3 c. filtered water, place combo into blender and blend 30sec to 1 minute.
• Pour through strainer.
• Only lasts 1-2 days in the refrigerator, so make smaller portions more often rather than having it sit too long.
• You may add vanilla if you like.
Soaking grains
From Nourishing Traditions by Sally Fallon
• 2 cups grain (such as brown rice)
• 4 cups warm filtered water plus 4 T yogurt, kefir or buttermilk
• 1 tsp sea salt
• 2-4 T real butter
Place grain and warm water mixture in a flameproof casserole and leave in a warm place for at least 7 hours. (Note: those with severe milk allergies can use lemon juice or raw apple cider vinegar in place of the yogurt, kefir or buttermilk). Bring to a boil, skim, reduce heat, stir in sea salt and butter and cover tightly. Without removing lid, cook over lowest heat possible for about 45 minutes.
Congee
from Healing with Whole Foods by Paul Pitchford
Traditionally known as his-fan or “rice water”, congee is eaten throughout China as a breakfast food. It is a thin porridge or gruel consisting of a handful of rice simmered in five to six times the amount of water. Although rice is the most common grain for congees, millet, spelt, or other grains are sometimes used. Cook the rice and water in a covered pot four to six hours on warm, or use the lowest flame possible; a crockpot works very well for congee. It is better to use too much water than too little, and it is said that the longer the congee cooks, the more “powerful” it becomes.
Healing Properties:
This simple rice soup is easily digested an assimilated, tonifies the blood and the qi energy, harmonizes the digestion, is demulcent, cooling and nourishing. It is useful for increasing a nursing mother’s supply of milk. Where as toddlers can partake of the whole porridge, for infants the liquid can be strained from the porridge to drink as a supplement.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Positive Solutions for Parents
We were so fortunate to have Mary Alice Wagner join us for Tell Mama. We discussed how to respond to challenging behaviors. Included here are Mary Alice’s notes as well as questions that were addressed(in italics).
It’s so important to build positive relationships with children. If you have a lot of positive interactions, it’s not so hard to have to discipline.
There is a lot of “power” in using positive comments and encouragement with children.
• Tip 1 Get your child’s attention.
• Tip 2 Use behavior specific language.
• Tip 3 Keep it simple - Avoid combining encouragement with criticism.
• Tip 4 Encourage with enthusiasm.
• Tip 5 Double the impact with physical warmth.
• Tip 6 Use positive comments and encouragement with your child in front of others.
Understand how play can be a powerful parenting practice.
• Tip 1: Follow your child’s lead -Wait, watch, and then join your child’s play
• Tip 2: Talk, talk, talk about what your child is doing
• Tip 3: Encourage your child’s creativity
• Tip 4: Watch for your child’s cues
• Tip 5: Avoid power struggles
• Tip 6: Have fun together
Examine why children do what they do.
Practice ways to determine the meaning of behavior.
Understand how to make expectations clear for children.
• Tell your child what to do instead of what not to do.
• Clearly and simply state what you expect your child to do.
• Have age appropriate expectations.
• Use age appropriate language. Young children have difficulty with
contractions (two words that are combined to form one such as "don’t").
• Children have a hard time remembering. It’s not that they are being defiant,
they just forgot. Remind them what is appropriate.
Develop and teach household rules. (Make a list of 3-5 rules and put them somewhere where everyone can see them.)
Emotional Literacy: Identify feeling words and identify effective ways to teach feeling vocabulary.
• Talk about feelings
• Ask your child to tell you how they feel
• Teach new emotion words (e.g., frustrated, confused, anxious, excited, worried)
• Talk about how characters in a book, video, or on t.v. may feel
• Reflect on situations and discuss feelings
• Accept and support your child’s expression of feelings
• Use books and art activities to talk about emotions
Learn how to teach problem solving skills.
• Try to anticipate problems
• Stay near your child
• Support your child
• Encourage your child
Identify the meaning of behavior by examining what happens before and after the problem behavior.
Identify the three parts of a behavior plan: preventions, new skills to teach, and new responses.
• Redirect –Physical & Verbal.
• Use Neutral Time to discuss behavior.
• Logical Consequences (If they draw on the wall, then have to clean it up).
• First, Then (If you do this, then this will happen).
Try to minimize the possibility that your child will have challenging behavior!
• Simplify the task.
• Explain what will come.
• Make your child comfortable.
• Use a job chart.
• Show a picture.
• Reduce distractions.
• Offer help.
• Prepare the activity ahead of time.
• Make the activity fun!
Questions:
My child gets physical and hits me and others sometimes. What do I do?
• Try to teach gentle touch, maybe with a stuffed animal.
• Act out a scenario that happened earlier.
• Have consequences.
• Figure out what is triggering them (hunger, tired, etc.).
• Kids have to keep it together all day at school, it is inevitable that they
break down at home where it is comfortable for them to express themselves.
• Give your child words to express how they feel.
• Give them options and alternatives to expressing their emotions.
Transitions are challenging. Any suggestions?
Five minute warnings.
•Get a timer, that way it’s the timer’s fault, not yours.
•Set up expectations.
•Give the child choices with both alternatives to be in your favor (ex: Do you want me to carry you to the shower or do you want to walk?)
•Don’t ask questions when it is not a question. (ex: “Bath time!” not “Are you ready for a bath?”)
•Rewards are great. (“If you do this, then this will happen.”)
My child craves my attention at the most inconvenient times, like when I’m on the phone or cooking dinner.
•Include your child in the task when cooking dinner. Give them a simple task that may not be helpful but it makes them feel included.
•Have a special basket of toys that only comes out while you are cooking dinner or on the phone.
•It’s ok to set them in front of the TV so you can get some things done. There are quite a bit of educational shows now-a-days.
I feel guilty if I am not focusing all of my time on my children.
•You need your alone time. It is necessary for your sanity. Take it when you can.
•Go with their flow. If they are napping use that time to nap or get things done.
•Set expectations (“After we do this together, then mommy needs to do this and you will play with your toys.”)
•Usually they crave your attention after you get home from work because they haven’t seen you. Give them some intense attention at first and it will become easier for them to entertain themselves later.
•Make a schedule chart with steps for breakfast, lunch, bedtime, etc.
•Make rules (3-5 rules like gentle touch and bedtime).
Should meal times be regular?
•The expectation of “no snacking” is not appropriate for younger age children.
•Plan meals. You don’t want to create a grazer.
•Give the children vegetables when they get home from school when they are hungry. It is a lot harder to get them to eat the vegetables when they have three other options at dinner time.
•If your child is constantly asking for their milk or a comfort food, figure out why. Sometimes they are stressed out by something. Address what is really bothering them.
It’s so important to build positive relationships with children. If you have a lot of positive interactions, it’s not so hard to have to discipline.
There is a lot of “power” in using positive comments and encouragement with children.
• Tip 1 Get your child’s attention.
• Tip 2 Use behavior specific language.
• Tip 3 Keep it simple - Avoid combining encouragement with criticism.
• Tip 4 Encourage with enthusiasm.
• Tip 5 Double the impact with physical warmth.
• Tip 6 Use positive comments and encouragement with your child in front of others.
Understand how play can be a powerful parenting practice.
• Tip 1: Follow your child’s lead -Wait, watch, and then join your child’s play
• Tip 2: Talk, talk, talk about what your child is doing
• Tip 3: Encourage your child’s creativity
• Tip 4: Watch for your child’s cues
• Tip 5: Avoid power struggles
• Tip 6: Have fun together
Examine why children do what they do.
Practice ways to determine the meaning of behavior.
Understand how to make expectations clear for children.
• Tell your child what to do instead of what not to do.
• Clearly and simply state what you expect your child to do.
• Have age appropriate expectations.
• Use age appropriate language. Young children have difficulty with
contractions (two words that are combined to form one such as "don’t").
• Children have a hard time remembering. It’s not that they are being defiant,
they just forgot. Remind them what is appropriate.
Develop and teach household rules. (Make a list of 3-5 rules and put them somewhere where everyone can see them.)
Emotional Literacy: Identify feeling words and identify effective ways to teach feeling vocabulary.
• Talk about feelings
• Ask your child to tell you how they feel
• Teach new emotion words (e.g., frustrated, confused, anxious, excited, worried)
• Talk about how characters in a book, video, or on t.v. may feel
• Reflect on situations and discuss feelings
• Accept and support your child’s expression of feelings
• Use books and art activities to talk about emotions
Learn how to teach problem solving skills.
• Try to anticipate problems
• Stay near your child
• Support your child
• Encourage your child
Identify the meaning of behavior by examining what happens before and after the problem behavior.
Identify the three parts of a behavior plan: preventions, new skills to teach, and new responses.
• Redirect –Physical & Verbal.
• Use Neutral Time to discuss behavior.
• Logical Consequences (If they draw on the wall, then have to clean it up).
• First, Then (If you do this, then this will happen).
Try to minimize the possibility that your child will have challenging behavior!
• Simplify the task.
• Explain what will come.
• Make your child comfortable.
• Use a job chart.
• Show a picture.
• Reduce distractions.
• Offer help.
• Prepare the activity ahead of time.
• Make the activity fun!
Questions:
My child gets physical and hits me and others sometimes. What do I do?
• Try to teach gentle touch, maybe with a stuffed animal.
• Act out a scenario that happened earlier.
• Have consequences.
• Figure out what is triggering them (hunger, tired, etc.).
• Kids have to keep it together all day at school, it is inevitable that they
break down at home where it is comfortable for them to express themselves.
• Give your child words to express how they feel.
• Give them options and alternatives to expressing their emotions.
Transitions are challenging. Any suggestions?
Five minute warnings.
•Get a timer, that way it’s the timer’s fault, not yours.
•Set up expectations.
•Give the child choices with both alternatives to be in your favor (ex: Do you want me to carry you to the shower or do you want to walk?)
•Don’t ask questions when it is not a question. (ex: “Bath time!” not “Are you ready for a bath?”)
•Rewards are great. (“If you do this, then this will happen.”)
My child craves my attention at the most inconvenient times, like when I’m on the phone or cooking dinner.
•Include your child in the task when cooking dinner. Give them a simple task that may not be helpful but it makes them feel included.
•Have a special basket of toys that only comes out while you are cooking dinner or on the phone.
•It’s ok to set them in front of the TV so you can get some things done. There are quite a bit of educational shows now-a-days.
I feel guilty if I am not focusing all of my time on my children.
•You need your alone time. It is necessary for your sanity. Take it when you can.
•Go with their flow. If they are napping use that time to nap or get things done.
•Set expectations (“After we do this together, then mommy needs to do this and you will play with your toys.”)
•Usually they crave your attention after you get home from work because they haven’t seen you. Give them some intense attention at first and it will become easier for them to entertain themselves later.
•Make a schedule chart with steps for breakfast, lunch, bedtime, etc.
•Make rules (3-5 rules like gentle touch and bedtime).
Should meal times be regular?
•The expectation of “no snacking” is not appropriate for younger age children.
•Plan meals. You don’t want to create a grazer.
•Give the children vegetables when they get home from school when they are hungry. It is a lot harder to get them to eat the vegetables when they have three other options at dinner time.
•If your child is constantly asking for their milk or a comfort food, figure out why. Sometimes they are stressed out by something. Address what is really bothering them.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Grace and Courtesy 1/08/10
Csilla Rodriguez joined Tell Mama to talk about grace and courtesy. If you missed the conversation, please feel free to ask questions on here and we will do our best to answer them.
Here is a summary of the discussion:
Csilla´s teaching method is Montessori inspired. The main focus was on ages 2-6 when their personalities are formed and they are most receptive to learning about manners. Csilla started out by comforting everyone and letting them know that tantrums are quite normal for kids under 3. Try not to be embarrassed by what your child does in public. It is normal in this stage of development to not be able to obey.
Brief definitions:
Grace is an action that comes from the inner core of man,
Courtesy is an action performed for the benefit of others
Together grace and courtesy express the true spirit of man
With grace and courtesy man can acquire awareness and harmony between his mind and body.
To be truly gracious one must have good self-esteem as well as accept and love themselves and others.
Csilla´s main point was that children learn by observation. Be self aware and set a positive example for your children. Know what calms you so you can teach your child. Rather than telling them, show them how you want them to act and react. Sometimes children get a contradictory message between what parents say and what they do. Pay attention to your tone of voice, it conveys more than the words you say. Moments of frustration are moments of learning. Show your children how you deal with anger, frustration, insecurity, and boredom.
Children have a natural desire to be like us. Stage situations with your child and family of things you would like them to practice, like a manners themed dinner, meeting a new friend, appropriate behavior at the store, a restaurant, etc. Make it fun! Family is the first social group the child sees whether it is functional or dysfunctional. This prepared environment is where the child constructs it’s self and learns appropriate or inappropriate behavior.
Prepare this most important environment for them, open up your house for your child, so they do not feel like a guest in their own home. Include your children in the day-to-day tasks. Include them in cooking, cleaning and crafts you do around the house, even if it´s messy. Give them a mini vacuum, teach them to water the plants, include them in baking and cooking, give them a little rag when you are cleaning, etc. Teach them how to dress and undress and clean up their toys after themselves. Montessori calls these the Practical Life exercises. Make them feel like they are helping, that they can do it on their own, and most of all that they are important and needed.
Through the concentration on exercises with intelligent purpose children define their movements, learn the logical steps of activities, and soak up the essentials of the given material. Through working and concentrating with real objects and through the patience they need to, for example, unzip their jacket the child reaches a level of calmness, an inner balance which takes them to a higher spiritual understanding and boosts their self confidence. The feeling of "I can do it on my own," leads to high self esteem, helps the child to love themselves and others, and act in a graceful, courteous and more conscious way with the people in their family, in the school, and in the community.
At dinner time: make sure you sit down together. Dinner is a social time. No one likes to sit by themselves. Don´t get frustrated if your child can´t sit still for too long, it is normal to have a short attention span at this age. Practice in small steps. First 1 minute, then 3, then 5 ... hopefully by the end of the week/month they can sit for 10mins. Let them know that the dinner table is where they eat food, not when playing with their toys. If they are hungry later, don´t give them food. They will learn that if they are hungry they need to eat at the table at dinner time. Have a pre-dinner dinner to help them prepare to sit at the table and some parents suggested to teach them to ask "May I get up?"
We hope this has been helpful. Thank you to everyone for joining us in the meeting. Again, feel free to continue the discussion on this blog.
Some recommended books:
Peepers on the go, Manners [kit]
The book of courtesy / sister Mary Mercedes
The absorbent mind / Maria Montessori ; with a new foreword by John Chattin-McNichols
The secret of childhood. Translated by M. Joseph Costelloe
Manners / Michelle Kennedy
Manners are important for you and me / written by Todd Snow ; illustrated by Carrie Hartman
Elbows off the table, napkin in the lap, no video games during dinner : the modern guide to teaching children good manners / Carol McD. Wallace.
Teaching your children good manners / by Lauri Berkenkamp and Steven C. Atkins
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Flu Season Upon Us
With the approaching Flu season there is a lot to think about regarding staying healthy. I think that good old fashioned hand washing, plenty of sleep, and a healthy diet go a long way in preventing illnesses. Having said that, it can be a long tough winter up here and we contend with a lot of imported viruses. In my house we do a large quantity of Vitamin C, Garlic, 5 day rotations of Echinacea, and relentless hand washing. Still, we do have our bouts with the usual "crud" every now and then during the winter. I like to be informed on any decision I make, especially ones that involve my family. Please join us on Friday, October 9, at 9:30 a.m. in the Children's Area for a discussion on immunization facilitated by Kendall Chieciuch, for further information please call 728-4519 ext.23. Here are some sites regarding Flu season and Flu shots to help keep you informed. Have a healthy season and see you the library.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
The Reluctant Reader
Being a librarian people always assume that I have always been a voracious reader. The truth is that I was born what some people would now term a “reluctant reader”. My mother was a devotee of reader’s theater and was committed to reading aloud to her children on a daily basis. Naturally she assumed that our enjoyment of listening to her read would somehow guide us toward a life-long love of reading. Unfortunately, learning to read became a battle that spanned the first two years of formal schooling, my mother being the General of the opposing army carrying out covert tactics wielding impenetrable force. The reality was that I loved identifying words and knowing what they meant, I liked nothing more than a good story well told, and I was even passionate about trying to write, but I loathed the process of learning phonics and the painful act of sounding out every word in a Dick and Jane book. Now I imagine how my mother must of felt with me dragging on sounding out and Boo-Hooing at the same time. By the summer after first grade my turmoil subsided and I was excited about my ironically advanced reading skills and my new subscription to the Golden Book Club. Each month I would eagerly await the new books that would arrive on my doorstep, while my mother knew that she was reducing potential summer learning loss. Statistics tell us that all children will show learning losses when not engaged over the period of a summer. On average teachers will spend 4 to 6 weeks of the school year to help children to attain the levels achieved in the prior semester. Children who read six or more books in a summer on average have more success in school than their non-reading counterparts. Concurrently, reading at least 1,000,000 words a year will increase a child’s vocabulary by 1,000 words. This year we have created a summer reading program that accommodates busy summer schedules and travel by allowing kids to track their reading online. With the flexibility of the program and special reading rewards we hope to keep your kids reading all summer long. Whether your child is an avid or a reluctant reader, the library is a healthy learning environment that provides enriching and fun activities to keep kids busy through out the summer. Summer reading sign-up starts on June 8th for children infant to 12 years old. Teen summer reading for grades 5 and up starts on June 15th. This year participants may register as individuals, groups, or families. For our philanthropic component we will be donating books to Parents as Teachers in honor of the books our participants have read. Incentives will be given out throughout the summer, as well as end of the season top reader prizes. For more details please visit the library’s Web site at www.telluridelibrary.org. And, for all of our Telluride parents, I wish for you happy and enthusiastic readers now and in the future.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Summer Daze
Summer is so close I can taste it! Leaving the elementary school this morning, I realized that the air smells different, the fragrances have thawed. I can't believe that another school year is coming to a close.
As a working mom, I anticipate the summer months with both excitement and trepidation. I long to recreate the summers of my own childhood - hanging out at the public pool, playing neighborhood kickball games and generally luxuriating in uninterrupted stretches of free time. Now that I am the working mother of two active children, summer doesn't seem quite so simple.
How can I piece together (and afford) programs that will keep my kids entertained as I work? How can I encourage them to explore and play independently while keeping tabs on what they are doing? How many playdates can I organize with kids living in a 30 mile radius? What is the most effective response to that plaintive cry, "I'm bored?"
My solution this year is Wilkinson Public Library's Summer Reading (and not just because I am a librarian:). We've been talking about it at dinnertime for the past week or so. We'll register as a family and set some goals for our summer reading. Both of my kids can participate in age-specific programs -- it's actually nice because my 4 year-old will not compete against his 7 year-old sis. The library awards prizes at specific page increments and there are grand prizes for the top three readers in each age group (my daughter has her mark set on the iPod shuffle for 2nd place). We've decided to set a specific time each week to log our pages read onto the website, so that I won't drop the ball and keep putting off our posting until later.
That's right, summer reading is online! This makes it possible for our family to keep it going through vacation time. It's an easy system to navigate and allows us to set a routine that works for our family. Of course, the friendly library staff are happy to accommodate those who prefer to log their reading in person at the library.
I'm also really excited about the phenomenal kids programming that the Library offers through summer reading. You don't have to be registered to participate in the full line-up of Farmer's Market performances, ghost story night or the end-of-summer art show and reception. It's going to be a great remedy for the I'm Bored-syndrome.
And for teens, those entering grades 5-12, there are a bunch of interesting programs, from scrapbooking to knitting to music and theater. The theme for the program is "Express Yourself" and the events will provide low-pressure opportunities to experiment with a variety of outlets. It's going to be a fun-filled summer!
So, if you're looking for ways to entertain your kids and keep your sanity while holding on to the best of summer's freedom, check out Wilkinson Public Library's Summer Reading. Registration starts June 8th online at http://www.telluridelibrary.org/.
Summer Reading, Be Creative
School is almost out and summer is nearly upon us, it’s hard to tell with all the cool weather and rain. Over here at the library, Summer Reading is about to kick off. This summer will be be better than ever; easy to participate, online registration, great activities, fun programming, and of course, lots of books. We hope that you and your family will join us this summer to celebrate the joy of reading and explore the creativity that learning can provide. We have programs for every age group and every stage of literacy. Registration begins June 8 and runs through August 1. Go to our website for more information, or call us at 970-728-4519 ext 23.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Balancing Act
The kids are back in school and the weather has been beautiful. I am seeing that summer is going to happen, for awhile there it was so distant. This time of year my spirits lift a little with the return of longer and warmer days. There are lots of activities for the little ones in the coming months; I get overwhelmed thinking about it. I want to make sure that I am not over scheduling my daughter, but somehow many activities just sneak into our lives and before I know it we are missing out on good old fashioned unstructured play time. Life is busy. I am realizing that there may not be a reprieve from the pace I currently operate at. I am trying not to drag my daughter into the race I run every day, I try to respect her concept of time. Having said that, I do have to make it to places at certain predetermined times and that can be in conflict with a five year old's pace. How do I balance the nurturing and the schedule? I am constantly trying to figure this out. Some days I feel successful, others not so much. Let us know how you feel about scheduling commitments and raising a child. How do you balance the needs of your children and the demands outside of parenting?
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